It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
