as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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