can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
