oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
