I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
