you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You are the jesus of drinking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
