She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
