...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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