im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
