Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
