I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
