aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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