Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the liver wants what the liver wants
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
