Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
