hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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