She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
