naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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