what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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