Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
