holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
