I'm gonna have a badass scar
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
