he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
