Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
