She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
