It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
