I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We got so high we made milksteak
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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