I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
