Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
