the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
