i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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