no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
