1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
