HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
