They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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