There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
