i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
