matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
