wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
