But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize