Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
