I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
