piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
