Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
