I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The Olympian is in my bed
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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