I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
