happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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