I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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