ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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