she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
