You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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