You're so nebulous sometimes
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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