so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
