my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
