Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
