you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
