The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
