I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
