If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
