Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just threw up on my dentist
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
