put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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