What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
