32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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