you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
