Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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