Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
