he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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