First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Oh god it's open bar.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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