I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
