He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
