he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
