He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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