I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
