Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
